Anyone?

Annie's day of birth will be celebrated on Monday.  She was born on June the 1st at approximately 3:15 PM (I say "approximately" because I honestly have no idea...but how cool would it be if I was right?).  There is honestly no gift that I could give her that would convey how much I love her.
 
Having said that, I still have to buy her something, wrap it...and then throw all the kid's names on it. To be frank, I'm a bit flummoxed.  I'm looking for a little help out there...so what do you think?

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Why I'm not a scientist

If you put shiny stuff on your face, that'll attract the sun...and you'll get burnt.

This is why you don't put olive oil on your nose before a big volleyball tournament.  It's just simple math.

So how the heck does sun block work?  You slather all this creamy stuff on a kid's face and somehow they don't get torched.

It just doesn't make sense to me...

You think this isn't a conspiracy?  Well, you just keep on believing lemmings...just keep on believing...

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Great Idea below

You want to raise a bunch of money?
 
Maybe you're going to Nigeria to drill wells and you'd like some support.  Maybe you're trying to fund a shelter or food pantry.  It doesn't matter - this idea is liquid gold and all you have to do is find a ladel to scoop it up.

Put together a Non Walk-A-Thon.

That's right, it's just what it sounds like.  You're going to put together a Non-Walk-A-Thon for folks to not walk in.

Benefits?
-You don't have to get the city to close off any roads
-You don't have to bring in an ambulance
-You don't have to line the streets with people trashing the roads with used paper cups
-You don't have to get up at the crack of dawn
-You can raise a silly amount of money

Negatives?
   um....?

Here's what you do.  You do exactly the same stuff you do when putting together the normal Walk-A-Thon.  You get sponsors & walkers (this is where you get all of your money).  and that's where it stops.  You don't have to worry about putting together a route sheet or figuring out parking.  You just watch the money come in.
 
Keep in mind that there is no real monetary value to the actual walking in a walk-a-thon.  In fact...there is a cost associated with the walking.  There is no cost associated with not walking.

If people want the t-shirt, sell them the t-shirt.  "I didn't walk at the Charity Non-Walk-A-Thon"  That's actually a more interesting t-shirt you've got there.

This is win-win.

Now go out and don't walk.

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arrogance

I just watched Chopped on the Food Network and heard a young chef that had just been "chopped" say that the judges "didn't get it".
 
That's a great way of saying that you're better than someone else.

If you've written something that people don't like - it's not your inability to communicate a point...it's that THEY just DON'T GET IT.  If you run a meeting and people don't jump on board with your new idea...it's not that you didn't present a compelling case...it's just that you have to put up with a bunch of idiots that don't get it.
 
They're not as smart as you.  They're not as innovative, as ground breaking, as in touch with what's happening...YOU get it, they don't.  You're told all the time how good you are...so it's not you..it's them...the not-geters.
  
It's obvious.
 
And I wondered if this young chef would use that moment of chopage (it's a word) and grow from it, or just decide that it's them...and keep on doing what she's doing.
 
My own arrogance often keeps me from listening to other opinions.  It keeps me from accepting my flaws.  It keeps me from being more than I am today and it impedes my potential.  Maybe sometimes it's me that doesn't get it?

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Post Not So Secret

There are a handful of online confessionals out there on the interweb. Post Secret is probably the most popular...at least until TODAY.

I'm going to get the party started by doing a not so secret confessional. I'm going to fess up to some of my most heinous crimes against myself, my family and humanity as a whole.

So here goes:

-I often will jay walk just because I can. Oh yeah, it's true.

-even though I've never voted for an American Idol, I still feel like I can complain when they don't do their jobs.

-more times than not I'll take a sip of a fountain drink- refill it - and then go to the counter to pay for it.

-I'm a man who stops and asks for directions. I ignore them, but I'll stop and ask'em

-when no one is looking, I hyperventilate and dream of people looking at me while I breathe normally

-Late at night I sneak out and stick half oreos on Fuller's windows

-I think OJ Simpson is one of the top 7 running backs of all time.

-I'm not afraid to insert a Q Tip directly into my ear.

This feels so great!  I'm alive!  I have no secrets!  You should really give this a try...

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groupies

We have our medium sized group tonight.
 
Group is a funny world.  We have 15 people in ours and we really like 14 of them. 

The question is always what to do for the evening...
 
I went on a two day retreat about a week ago that was really good.  From the drive out to the lake house on, I was questioning almost everything we did.  We started in the van by telling our stories and immediately I was thinking, "can't we just talk about Saget or what's up with the swine flu?" 
  
We didn't. 
 
We told our stories...and now I know a little more about my team.  It was a good thing.
   
For two days it was like that.  I kept thinking, "can't we just cut out of here early?" but we never did...and it was always a good thing.  Our leader pushed us to do stuff that we (or at least I) didn't want to do...and it was always a good thing.  We got to know each other.  We pushed through uncomfortable and went into depth.
 
So that's the balance with small groups.  You want to push to do something that will challenge people, but you don't want the one person to say, "This sucks" or the whole group to throw grape seed oil in your eye and laugh as you try to rinse it out with water.  Oil and water don't mix.  That's really the lesson.  And quit it with the oil Scott!
  
So tonight we'll attempt to get a little bit uncomfortable together...and see if somehow that leads to a deeper sense of community.  Or maybe we'll just bond over the fact that group was awful?
  
And I was kidding about the 14 out of 15 people.  We like everyone, that's why we put the group together that way.  We sort of stacked the deck with this bunch.

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can't live with it...

I recently read a short article about a group of people who pledged to not watch television for a while.
That's not necessarily that unusual, but the follow up was.
 
Nearly 100% of the people enjoyed the quality of their lives better without the TV.  That's somewhat surprising, but I've heard that sort of thing before.  What was more interesting to me was that nearly 100% of the people went back to watching TV.
 
A friend of mine just signed up for cable.  I told her she'd never go back to the rabbit ears of her childhood.  She said, "Are you saying I had big ears!?"
 
Annie and I didn't have cable in Middletown, but in State College it was the law.  You couldn't really get even one channel in the mountains without some sort of cable-like helpl.  I had one friend in the entire town that didn't have cable.  He had his in-laws record the shows he wanted to watch on their VCR.  He'd highlight the shows in a tv guide and then they'd become the world's slowest Tivo for him.
 
On a side note - it's much easier to say "I tivo'd it" than "I dvr'd it"  that's all...
 
That crazy television - You can't live without it...but it's also hard to really LIVE with it.

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no news is good news?

News seems like a lazy word.  At some point someone said, "Hey, what's new fella?" and the aforementioned fella answered, "oh, you mean the news" 
First guy:  News?
Fella:  Sure, I've taken the word "new" and added an "s" to it.  I've pluralized the word new to news.  It's what's new....s...
First guy:  Like that'll ever catch on.  That's just stupid, or should I say stupids.
 
And somehow the plural version of new became the word we use to convey what's happening that's new.
 
Having said that - here's some news for you...
 
-I still am really bad at golf
-I'm undefeated in the 2000's in thumb wrestling, but Annie and I have lost twice at euchre
-I've seen less movies in the past three years than my older brother saw last week
-Bragg still less hair than me, but I'm catching up
-My silent partnership has been more silent than normal due to the economy.  It is because of the economy, right?
-A genuine excited smile from Cooper is still worth more to me than $732
-If you don't think Brad has the best pump fake on the Vineyard 30 and over football team, well we're going to have to fight mister
-Annie is undefeated at pop-a-shot in the past three years
-Annie has played Alton in pop-a-shot at least three times in the past three years
-If you'd like to invest in a local independant film, I know a guy
-if you count sheep, you're exercising both sides of your brain...and that'll make you drowsy....I know stuff...

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it starts at home

I'm suffering for the greater good today.  I'll be eating lunch, playing 18 holes at a local country club...and then eating dinner with some friends at a Young Life golf outing soon.  Oh sure they'll give me some sort of gift bag...there'll be people driving around the course with golf carts full of drinks and candy bars...and at some point we'll be given prizes.
 
But it's all about the charity.  Think of the children.
 
I play golf once a year typically.  Today is that once.  I'm actually not that into it and normally get bored about six or seven holes (or 56 swings).  I like this golf outing because I always share a cart with the director of the YL area and I'd much rather drive around and hang out with him than shank balls into the lake.
 
I think their ministry in Northern Kentucky is amazing.  You just don't find many people who are willing to step away from their comfort zone and go to where the kids are - they do that and it's an honor to support them.
 
Speaking of long walks - our small group is taking a hike this Memorial day to support the Healing Center.  For every walker who signs up, the Free Store Food Bank is donating 140 pounds of food.  That's a lot of cabbage...or bread...or ring dings...I actually don't know what food will be allocated...it's not really the point.  If you'd like to join us, we had a blast last year...and you can too....you know...this year.

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My Self Worth

I ran across a site that sort of intrigued me...so I hopped right in.  (Coincedentally, this is how I funded my retirement through a rich lawyer in Nigeria and started selling Amway)

The site is Google's site ranker.  You throw your site up there and they spit out a number.  Turns out I'm a 4.  That's 4 out of 10.  I wasn't sure if Google graded on a curve, so I checked out a few sites I enjoy.  Seth's weblog is a 7.  It's also great, so you should check it out.
 
Google ranked Google a 10 out of 10.  I'd understand it if Google's mom ranked it a 10, but Google?  Come on...you gotta at least knock one point off to come off a little unbiased.
 
Ultimately I'm not sure how great this ranker is, it gave www.bobsaget.com a 5. 
Silly Google.

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Check this out

"On my final exams, I always ask my students a bonus question of, 'If you could have the answer to any question in the world, what would the question be?' And at least 50 percent write something to do with God, faith, is there a heaven?"

Quote from
 Steven Joseph Fuller in this week's CinWeekly

check it out

What he doesn't tell you is that the other 50% ask about his elf shoes...

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Best of both worlds

I have a new job.  I get to keep my old office.  I work with a new group of people.  I'm right across the hall from my old team.  I'm learning new systems/skills/plans.  I get to bring with me some of my old systems/skills/plans.
 
I've been in this new role for about a month now.  I'm still figuring out my new schedule and meeting new people...but it feels right.  It feels like home.  Not only do I get to do new stuff, but I can still do almost everything I was doing in my last role.  A lot of the stuff I just brought with me into my new role, and everything else I can do voluntarily.
 
Voluntarily is a big improvement in just about every role in life.  When something is part of your job then there's a question of motives.  "You're just here because you're paid to be here."  Volunteers don't hear that nearly as much.  Occasionally as a volunteer for an organization you still have people think you're just doing something as part of an organization...and not because you individually care about that particular person.  Volunteering for an organization isn't as organic as just doing great things for people...but it's been my experience that organizations are a lot better at consistent care for people. 
 
Not really my point - my point is really just that I was thinking about my new role...and I kind of like it.

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Linkin

I tried to do a screen capture of me going to Budha's weblog a couple of weeks ago.  It worked out fairly well, it was just kind of small.  There's a pretty cool site that will record whatever you do on your computer as a video.
 
So that's what I did.  I recorded me typing in http://insertcleverhomophone.blogspot.com/ and then scrolling down his weblog...and then leaving an hilarious comment.
 
Alas, it was too small...but you should check out his written word here.

Also, I regularly read the links at the bottom of this here site...it's just that now they're not as visible.

I recommend them all.  If you read CDaysies weblog, get a comfortable seat first.

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Waiting for Wise

I've been hoping that young BShaw would hook a brother up with a new weblog layout.  While I was waiting for his masterpiece I decided to try out this graphic artist thing and can you believe I'm really, really talented in this area?
 
Just look around for yourself.  Think through the colors and the symbolic nature of the art that's being displayed.  They don't teach this level of artistry at DAAP.
 
What conveys to the reader the very nature of the author better than Chuck Norris kicking a wolf into the sky?  Take a look at the dessert background and notice how the mountains cry out for justice in a fallen world.  
 
They'll continue to cry out as I await the arrival of young Bradley's artwork.  After seeing this sweetness, I'm guessing he's about to call me and ask me to rework his site.

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busted

I've installed five toilets in my life.  I'm 4 for 5 so far.
 
For some reason I couldn't install what I call our golfball toilet.  This is a toilet that is so incredibly powerful that you could flush 24 golfballs down it.  It says so right on the box.
 
First question:  Why are you flushing golf balls down your toilet mr. box?  Didn't you know that there's a decent side business in selling used golfballs?  Maybe these aren't even used golfballs.  Maybe you were just so excited that your toilet would flush incredible amounts of objects down the drain that you just started throwing stuff in there.  A couple of marbles.  A few dozen marbles!  ":Hey Steve, you've got to see this!  I'll bet I could even put a golf ball in this thing!"  Fast forward twenty minutes.  "I think I could put 23 in there!  Let's try 24!  Let's put in 25!  Crap....I guess 24 is the maximum number of golf balls that anyone can flush down there..."
 
So I've installed four toilets with no problems.  Then I install the super one and it leaks...so I reinstall it...and it releaks...and I tried two more times...same thing.  Finally I brought in a pro.  He used all sorts of adhesive that made me think I'll never get rid of this thing, but it didn't leak.

Until this morning.

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baseball season

One of the all time great moments for me as a dad/t-ball coach was watching the little league baseball parade two years ago.  Basically the kids ride on the back of pickup trucks and throw candy and wave to the fans.
 
Here's the problem - they drive through a few neighborhoods that are definitely not lined with fans.  All the parents go to the end of the parade route to watch their kids, so mostly the players wave at empty houses.
 
I wrote about this two years ago, but I missed the parade last year and was reminded of how things played out this year. 

At some point in the parade route I saw a lady go out to get her mail.  The guys in my truck saw her as someone who needed some of their parade throwing candy...and they'd been practicing throwing all year.  So you do the math.

If you've seen the opening scene to Saving Private Ryan, you'll know a bit of what this lady went through.  It was tragic/awesome/hillarious all at the same time.
 
Three seasons in a row Aidan & Griffin have played on the same team and it's a pleasure to watch.

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a real personality

I've taken the Myers-Briggs & stratton test - the DiSC personality test - the Achiever - the Temperment study -  the Discover your Strengths study - the Asses me.

Basically I've been checked out.  I have no idea what I am.  E something...D something?  I'm an Elk...or some sort of woodland creature maybe?
 
I've decided to asses myself.  It's based on a few questions if you'd like to take the test.

1.  Which Friend are you? (Joey, Rachel, Ross, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe or Gunther)

2.  If you see Hitler at the bottom of a well, do yo:
     a.  drop a soy latte on him
     b.  sing a lullabye to him
     c.  ask him, "what's with the 'stache?"
     d. jump down and punch him in the larnyx

3.  Which link on the right will you go to next?

4.  Better movie:  When Harry Met Sally or Pulp Fiction?

5.  Better letter when silent - K or P?

6.  When you see a commercial bragging about the 3G network, do you have any idea what they're really talking about?

7.  When you hear about the Great Lakes do you ever think, "They're not so great"?

8.  How many products do you own that could best be described  "As seen on TV"?

9.  Pancakes or Waffles?

If you could just answer those 9 questions, I'll have the results to you shortly.

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Happy Fifth of May!

Today is the day we celebrate war and the Mexican's hatred of the French....or something like that?
 
All I know is its half priced Tequila at Stop n' go and somebody has a coupon!  O.K., that's not necessarily true either.  I'm really not totally sure why Cinco De Mayo is a thing, but I also wonder why we celebrate the 4th of July, but we don't talk much about Independence Day.  Oh sure, we watch the movie and celebrate with Will Smith and a cigar at the end...but we still call it the fourth.
 
I wonder why we don't call Christmas the 25th of December?  Or Valentine's Day the whatever day of February?  Seems like we should get consistent with our days.
 
However you celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful 2 for Tuesday.

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Investigative Journalism

I understand why I would get so many letters from lawyers in Nigeria asking me for my bank account.  Once I did it the first time, I think a lot of the local attorneys figured out that I was a reliable guy that was willing to hold their client's money here in America.  You build a good reputation and there's no better marketing than word of mouth.
 
Here is where I'm a little confused though.  Why am I starting to get so many e-mails about becoming a CSI investigator?  First of all, they're asking me to be a Crime Scene Investigator Investigator.  That just seems redundant.  That's not even my primary concern though.

How did they pick me?  I don't even watch the show.  I rarely stick around the scene of a crime, so I can't think they're picking me based on past experience.  I'm also wondering what's in it for them?  Do they really want to start getting investigators based on mass e-mail searches?
 
Oh sure they'll get someone responding to the normal stuff - but is this a common urge that people have?  Is there that big of a percentage of our population yearning to investigate crime scenes?
 
Ultimately I could see maybe doing this,  but for a guy like me who is about to get a huge bankroll out of Nigeria...it's just not that appealing.

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Vince for President

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The Greatest Minute in Sports?

I hear every once in a while about the sports dream trips.  People want to go to see their team in the Super Bowl or go to the World Series..but today I'm thinking about sporting events I want no part of.

I never want to stand in line behind a giant floral hat waiting for a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby.  Has anyone ever had one of these outside of this horse lap? (the drink...or the hat for that matter)  
Any sport involving animals is probably a good rule. 
I can't imagine myself watching a bunch of mustachiod white guys turning left at a NASCAR event.

Any sort of PBA event, but this might actually be fun to attend and write about.  It could be my PBA Experiment 52 events in 52 weeks.
  
Golf is a bit of a push for me.  It's boring enough to play, but to sit at one spot all day and watch people basically try to hit the same spot on a certain hole...that would get old, right?  On the other hand you could walk around and enjoy the weather, and you can't do that in the same sort of environment with most sports...but then you probably won't ever get a good view of great golf.
 
80% of the Olympic sports hold very little interest for me.  That's why I (and you, if you're honest) don't watch most of these sports outside of the games.
 
I really don't consider a lot of "sports" much more than exhibitions, but we don't have to get into that right now...
 
I'm really not that into basketball, hockey or soccer - but people make personal attacks and shout mean things at me whenever I say anything.  I will say that I've been to all of the above and had fun...so get off my case.

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